When building a one-on-one relationship with a submissive, I always ask the person to describe their ideal vision. What do you picture, when you imagine achieving exactly what your tender subby heart desires?
Many ask for my ideal vision as well, and while I’m not shy about my likes and dislikes, the information is scattered throughout blogs, Twitter posts, and clips. It’s probably hard to parse all that when the mere sight of me makes your brain fuzzy.
So this is my attempt to put it all into one place: to help you understand my motives as a domme and what kind of people I mold with my hypnotic control.
Yelling is Exhausting
When it comes to domination, I prefer teasing to humiliation; planting suggestions so deeply you think they’re your own, rather than overt commands; a wicked smile and soft voice to a glare and a bark.
Don’t get me wrong, I find a harsh Domina to be incredibly sexy and I get the appeal — but it’s not me, and over the course of 5 years I’ve learned that control is only effective when it’s authentic.
Boundaries are Not Optional
A good sub respects my time and the sheer amount of work that goes into my trances.
To me, the ideal sub views this as play — a temporary, but important diversion, like a costume you are passionate about. They understand consent, and they know the difference between allowing me to guide them and asking me to get deeply entangled in their lives.
Power Play is Positive
A good sub knows that there is nothing shameful in being a submissive, and takes a healthy approach to incorporating the need for submission into their life. This is inextricably tied to boundaries, but also relates to their personal view of the D/s dynamic.
If it’s a shameful secret addiction, it leaves the sub open to scammers, unscrupulous dominants, and coercion into fetishes or actions that are way outside their comfort zones.
The subs I love to play with view this as an essential and fun part of their sex lifes and psyches. They love to go deeper and crave more power exchange, but know how to keep it in balance with the rest of their lives. They aren’t afraid to test their limits, but they aren’t afraid to talk it out when they’re uncomfortable or outright say “no thank you, Mistress.”
Potential is Intriguing
At some point, as we get to know each other, I will want to use my powers for good and help you guide yourself on the path to self-improvement. The deeper I go into someone’s psyche, the more I will find unacknowledged desires and stalled-out dreams and stifled inspiration. These things are just as exciting to me as finding your weaknesses. Moldability works both ways — it’s sexy to play your weakness against you, but it’s satisfying in a different way to guide you toward your best behavior.
My ideal sub is willing to confront his own baggage and accept my guidance toward achieving his goals. These are the most challenging assignments I could give you — and the most satisfying when you finish them and receive your hard-earned praise.
Some Magical Thinking is Fun
Hypnosis is not well-understood and in some ways, not exactly scientific. We’re already playing in uncharted territory, and some open-mindedness is a must.
Sure, the occult trappings I employ aren’t for everyone. And even if you like it, you might be skeptical. That’s no problem, but I prefer subs who are okay with suspending disbelief and having fun with the endless potential of our imaginations.
Whatever your views on astrology, isn’t it fun and intriguing when a horoscope lines up with what you’re going through, or some tidbit about your sign resonates with you?
In trance, you allow yourself to believe everything I’m saying and for a while, that becomes your reality. A little bit of magic accomplishes the same thing — and who knows, you might find that you notice a few more glitches in the matrix once you’ve opened your mind to seeing them.
Vulnerability is Sexy
Power play can be extremely transformative, but no meaningful experiences will come from scraping the surface. The submissive I seek is willing to let me dig my claws deep into their secret and their shame, and drag it out to inspect it in the light.
Considering that I prefer sensual domination, such gruesome imagery may seem out of place. But no power game is complete to me without a little wallowing in the muck of fear, inadequacy, and failure — and surrendering these things without hesitation to someone who knows what to do with it.
So What Does My Vision Look Like?
You schedule your intro session. We have a discussion about our likes and dislikes to find some overlap and, time permitting, I leave you with a little fuzz in your head.
We do the real exploration in a session. I learn a little more about what drops you deeper. The next time you call me, I’m exploiting it to its fullest potential and you’re further in trance than you’ve been in a while, or maybe ever.
Over time you can’t resist confessing some of the deeply-buried, unacknowledged parts of yourself. Maybe they’re showing up in your dreams, maybe thoughts of me are intruding at inconvenient times. You never thought it was real but you begin to feel my presence, as if some entity is actually altering the reality you thought was so solid. It’s unsettling, but it feels exciting.
You’ve done some little assignments now, fun and light-hearted and mostly centered around sex. You’ve felt the effects of a post-hypnotic trigger or two. And then, after one call, you wake up with an intense compulsion to carry out some action you’ve been procrastinating on. It has nothing to do with hypnosis, or sex, or me, and you might even be dismayed at my intrusion — but you do the assignment. You sit down and work on that creative project that’s been collecting dust, you make an appointment you’ve been delaying for months or even years, you purchase equipment for a new hobby you’ve been fantasizing about.
After that, every time you trance with me is transcendent. Your mind is changing, your neurons are literally firing differently, and you can achieve a powerful trance. You know what your subconscious wants and know you have a Mistress who is wise and capable enough to decide whether or not those wants are worth pursuing. Perhaps at this point, you’re ready to venture into some fetish territory that has always held a fearful fascination for you. You find it liberating. The part of you that feels conflicted about your submissive urges has gotten much quieter, almost without you noticing.