How to Message Your Domme

message

For some, the ins and outs of online play are old hat. Not everyone knows the drill, though, and communication is extra-hard without the benefit of face-to-face contact. Here are My tips to get your message across.

Send a stand-out message

The easiest way to do this is tribute and thank Her for Her time. This gesture says a lot: that you understand the nature of Her work, that you aren’t trying to get a free wank, and that you are serious about communicating.

But it’s not all a matter of dollars and cents. I find that personal touches go a long way, and even if I can’t respond in kind, I’m more likely to reply to a thoughtful message. Tell her specifically what you enjoy about the work She does. Make a note of something she Tweeted recently that stuck out to you. Show that you’re paying attention to Her and it will seem worthwhile to return that attention.

Don’t flood her inbox

Pick one avenue and stick to it: don’t send the same message on multiple platforms. And don’t send messages asking whether or not she’s going to reply to you. There are times when it makes sense to initiate a follow-up message:

  • When you’ve paid for a session and want to confirm
  • When you’re waiting for a custom beyond its usual deadline
  • When you want to know if a wishlist item or gift card arrived
  • When you have any kind of agreed-upon exchange that involves money already on the line

But if you’re just sending a message to ask why She hasn’t gotten back to you yet, She wouldn’t be wrong to consider you pushy.

Don’t take it personally

Managing your online world takes a lot of organization. It’s easy for things to fall through the cracks, and it requires a lot of skill to stay on top of it.

Since people appear and disappear in the online scene, it’s natural to worry that your Domme is annoyed with you. But usually, it’s not you at all.

She might not want to spend all day in front of a screen. She might have high etiquette standards. She might be overwhelmed, tired, and avoidant. She might be leaving the scene for other reasons. She might still be learning the ropes of the online scene.

If you fear that you’re losing your connection to a Domme you value, a nice personalized note asking how She’s doing and reaffirming your appreciation might do the trick.

Chances are, if She really doesn’t want to talk to you, She’ll tell you why or block you. We’re known to be . . . forward. But if you can’t get the level of communication you desire, it might just mean that the two of you have different needs and standards. She might not be the Domme for you, so if you can’t adjust your expectations, move onto someone who will fulfill them.

Make it easy

Read FAQs and bios first. Before you ask a question, see if anything relevant is linked in her website menu or social media profile. One thing that keeps me from answering messages is the pain in the ass of dragging up links on mobile, and they’ll wind up in Left-On-Read Limbo.

Don’t make her do a bunch of unpaid labor to try and figure you out. Give some basic info about yourself and your fetish experience. Keep it concise, and be clear about your desires and goals as a sub. If you’re unsure what you want or what you’re into, communicate that and explain what you’re open to.

Trying to get to know someone through a message is tough. If you aren’t sure how to explain where you’re coming from, ask about a session so She can ask you questions without dragging it out over several emails.

Don’t sweat it

Nervousness is easy to disguise in an email. If you put a little thought into it, you’ll make a good impression. And even though some Dommes have high etiquette standards, it’s also true that We can’t expect everyone to know the drill immediately.

So don’t be shy. Hit send and brace yourself.

 

2 thoughts on “How to Message Your Domme

  1. Bob Watterson says:

    Good morning. May I get your email address in order to send you an amazon gift card?

    Thank you.

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