It’s no surprise that many who seek hypnosis — and femdom in general — have control issues. I don’t think it’s controversial to say we all have those in some form or another, but D/s play holds a particular attraction for some.
For some, it’s a break from everyday pressure. It requires a lot of effort to fulfill the responsibilities of adult life; even thinking about them requires a great deal of control. For others, it’s a safer expression of the loss of control. If you feel rootless and aimless, tugged in directions you didn’t choose, submission is a safe and pleasurable re-enactment.
I know I’m not offering any shocking revelations in saying that D/s is about control. But it’s not a simple binary of Dominant = taking power, submissive = giving up power. It’s a spectrum, a yin and a yang. In my clip “The Submissive Gift,” I talk about how this notion of power gets it all wrong.
Within hypnosis, it’s a widely-accepted truism that the subject cannot be coerced into doing something they don’t want to do. If you don’t feel super-receptive to trance on a given day, you won’t drop.
I don’t think of my submissives as powerless. To me, my subject is in a more active role: making the approach, offering up vulnerability, and accepting or rejecting suggestions. In a trance state, you haven’t given up control. You’ve simply decided you don’t need to exert it, which is what actual control is.
I’ve become less controlling in my own life since I found my niche in the hypnofetish world. I know a little better when I need to be forceful and when I need to be still. No matter how you compartmentalize it, this type of play has a ripple effect on your life. This month, I want you to think on what that ripple has been for you.
Life is busy. I have the luxury of living at a slow pace, but even I find myself baffled by the sheer number of tiny, mundane things that need maintenance. It never stops, and it never will.
So it’s no wonder that you seek out the simple bliss of trance: a quiet mind, a clean narrative, a start and a finish that forms a piece of a greater process. To me, trance shakes the dust out of the murky, neglected corners of our mind.
But I wonder: how often do you sit down for trance with baggage, expectations, and fears? How often do you find yourself resisting the drop, for reasons you can’t quite contain? And how often does that resistance leave you feeling frustrated and disappointed — like it’s impossible to find exactly what you’re looking for?
This card is telling you that it isn’t that deep. Don’t try to fit so much into the experience — good trance is slow, and non-linear, and works best with a mind that contains nothing but curiosity.
The Magician is a master over her reality, because she can direct and apply her will. But willpower is not always about pushing. In an individual reading, this card would indicate a time where you have a unique opportunity to claim some agency.
So before you sit down to one of my trances, I want you to ask yourself what kind of reality you’re attempting to create. Write it down, stream-of-consciousness, and share it with me if you like. Try to look at your underlying assumptions — do they track perfectly with the trance, or do they diverge?
For January, your task is to examine how your relationship to control affects your trance states. It’s a realm with relatively low stakes, so it’s a good starting point to uncover your patterns and open up the pathways in your mind.