February Tarot: Melt & Be Still

diana rey - feb tarot

Over the years, I’ve met a lot of men who struggle to trance. When the stars align, I can work one-on-one with someone and dissolve some of the barriers, but that’s not often the case.

The male submissive mind is often in conflict with ideas of masculinity. You know exactly what presses your buttons, but you’re always subtly, frustratingly conscious of what you’re “supposed” to be. Surrender to a Domme is a pleasant escape from the boilerplate expectations, but this month I want you to push yourself from compartmentalization to integration.


One-on-one trance with me is a little different. If you’re prostrating yourself before me, I want more than just the superficial satisfaction of watching a dazed look come over your face. I want to reach into a willing mind and take whatever I desire. But I have your walls to navigate around. It’s a process.

If you lock all feeling away in a disused corner of the mind, pleasure resides there as well. I could craft the most brain-meltingly transcendent cumfest of a trance but if you’re too guarded to follow me into it, well…

This month’s card is suggesting that you replace your walls with a winnowing basket. Pay attention to those moments of defensiveness in trance, and figure out if it’s something worth protecting or if you’re just denying yourself pleasure. Men are quite well-trained to stifle their emotions, but isn’t My training more fun?


I don’t think there is enough discussion of the strength it takes to be a sub. Not to overpower, but to abide.

This flies in the face of our concepts of manhood. Controlling, dominating, showing no emotion, guiding, pushing, always pushing, forward.

If you exert too much energy maintaining those walls I mentioned earlier, eventually you will collapse. Online play often turns into a cycle of abstinence and relapse. Or a frustrating game of musical chairs (musical bondage tables?) where the submissive cycles through Domme after Domme, chasing a drop that always seems just out of reach.

The Strength card is not asking you to keep pushing. I want to train you instead to melt, to be still.

For the month of February, think about the ideas you associate with the words “protect” and “strength.” Do they conflict with your concept of submission? I posit these concepts aren’t as opposed as you think.

2 thoughts on “February Tarot: Melt & Be Still

  1. Michael says:

    Abstinence and relapse is absolutely the cycle that I experience as well as the running away from one Domme to the next thinking it’s a way to avoid it becoming an addiction. So far, it’s not.

    1. missdianarey says:

      It’s a very common cycle and it comes with a lot of shame and stress. I think that trance can be a useful tool to ease the wild swings and I plan to incorporate a lot of those ideas in my future work.

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