When I started out on Niteflirt nearly five years ago, it became an outlet to express my dominant side and transmute my natural affinities into a career. There were bumpy moments in the beginning as I learned a few valuable lessons about boundary-setting and business niches. Online play
has inherent limitations, and they can be frustrating.
Hypnosis was an accidental discovery. I had performed it before, but in a very primitive fashion. I viewed it as a roleplay fetish rather than a significant altered state of mind, and approached it as such. But then, a client hypnotized me with my consent.
It was eye-opening. After the experience, I wept. The experience did not upset me; in fact, I felt content. It simply unlocked some pent-up energy. And once that energy was out, I was exhausted — I signed out of Niteflirt and took a nap.
Deeper and deeper
You’ll notice a distinct trend in hypnotic language of going downward. Down a staircase. Down from ten to one. Going deeper, into the sub-conscious, the depths of the mind, the deepest desires. For whatever reason, we conceptualize our hidden thought processes as below.
Sometimes (especially in Western meditation traditions) we will structure this as moving “inward,” to the center. It’s still the same kind of spatial orientation: there is the surface, and there is something under it.
Hypnosis, meditation, therapy, psychedelic drugs, fetish play: talk to anyone about these for long enough and you will notice this surface/depth framework. All are forms of self-exploration, and all tend to lead one to the realization that the “self” is just a fragile shell, a mask we use to function in the world, while our inner lives are more fluid over time.
Any meaningful self-exploration involves this willingness to descend. Digging into the buried parts of the mind is work that gets your hands dirty and brings up many wriggling grubs that will die in the light.
My friend introduced me to the term “cthonic:” of or pertaining to the underworld. I’ve been purposely pursuing these cthonic experiences in the media I consume, examining my own shadow side and trying to understand the darkness we all share. It’s not a depressive habit, nor am I assigning a negative connotation to “darkness” here — it’s simply a recognition that our psyches have days and nights just like the world we live in.
A death fetish
Unlike my piecemeal approach of seeking out weird shit, hypnosis and D/s are structured approaches to the cthonic. To submit to the power of another, on a personal level, is intimate and vulnerable. The things that surface in sub-space are why we need aftercare, triggers that induce calm, and cooldowns. It’s why the Dominant has to have self-control and clarity of intention. Without structure, without that exchange, it’s dissatisfying at best and traumatizing at worst.
I’ve lost count of how many men have, unprompted, burst into tears or revealed some difficult realization in a session. There shouldn’t be any shame in it, but we do tend to fear vulnerability and the experience can be unpleasant when one is not prepared. These experiences taught me that submission, fetish, and hypnosis have a powerful potential to lead someone into cthonic work.
Longtime fans will notice a shift in the style of my clips. My earlier work was fetish-focused. I wanted short-term gratification and power. As I’ve grown as a hypnotist I’ve introduced concepts like ego death and toxic masculinity — not the type of thing you usually expect in fetish porn made for a male audience.
But those things are present in all porn as they are in everything else we do. Night always falls, and we can either let it overwhelm us or learn to navigate it.
My focus as a Domme these days is to use my control to make better men. I teach you to be calm in every induction. I dissolve illusions in every script. There’s still a place to play with fetishes, but what really turns me on these days is a thoughtful approach to sexual play, where there is room for vulnerability and darkness and exploration and joyous abandon.
I’m not one to keep dispensing the same pellet over and over again. I’ve changed a lot over the last five years and my approach to hypnosis has, too.
In the coming year I plan to make clips that guide you through the long, dark night of the soul. There will be plenty of space for fetish and fun, because the concept of sexual freedom is integral to my purposes. And even if you’re still a little afraid of the dark, I invite you to join me. It’s going to be fun.