Finding a truly impactful trance requires self-awareness, which is a lifelong project. Often I encounter people who have never been under but want to, or who rarely experience it unless the conditions are right. The truth is, we have to figure ourselves out before we know what we’ll respond to. And our “selves” are always changing.
A while ago I devised four categories and a quiz so I could understand my clients better. It helps me figure out what you’ll respond to, but it also has its limits. You’re more complex and fluid than any personality test can depict. Understanding that complexity is a project that often takes a circuitous route. You’ll have to delve into the shadows.
Any approach comes with a tinge of fear. When you’re approaching a Domme, that’s not completely irrational. But at times, fear will get in the way of your ideal trance experience.
In my Guide to the Submissive Mind training, I talk about how fear and desire are two sides of the same coin. This also factors into why I use sigils to achieve what I want. With any attachment comes the fear of loss or failure. The nagging fear becomes a part of our thought process, and we self-sabotage or act without confidence.
Plenty of things might hold you back. Is this the right Domme for me? Do I even know what that would look like? Am I nervous when I sit down for the induction? Am I afraid to ask for guidance or adjustments? Are my expectations in line with theirs? When both you and your Dominant are adaptable, obstacles matter less.
Check in with those fears. See how they relate directly to your desires. And communicate it all to your Dominant — you’ll be surprised how much further you get.
The Hanged Man
I always laugh when this comes up in a reading, because it’s the ultimate hypnosub card. The hanged man represents surrender, and giving up a need for control. Yeah, you all like that, don’t you?
As you take inventory of your fears around trance, take the opportunity to surrender to them, not just to Me. Let yourself be pulled in an unexpected direction. Think of some expectations you have and ask yourselves which ones can be de-prioritized.
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t maintain your limits and boundaries. Instead, in surrender, you will find which boundaries really matter and which ones hold you back from the things you truly want.
This month, I want you to practice addressing those fears with your Dominant. Say, plainly, what holds you back from trance. Talk about what you are afraid to lose, how you are afraid to fail, where you are afraid to change. And then give the reins over to your subconscious mind, and see if your desires don’t win out now that you’ve embraced their obscured twins.